Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

The Heart That Sits Alone by ~princesslisaloo:iconprincesslisaloo:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Song




i'm falling
falling off the wall i worked so hard to build
it's not the real me

a feeling too happy
or maybe too sad
it sends chills up your back
you try not to admit it
easy to fail
your heart's become an earthquake
youre feelings,
too stale

the wind is gaining
impact suround
but all i can hear
is a soft tapping sound
through my window
you fall
i still sit on my wall
surounded in blood
a faint burgandy glow

so fake
yet so real
such plastic
yet flesh will reveal
a heart made of pity
an eye that will not shed a tear
silence
in a yell
hushed voices over fell

you'll sleep away the fear
as if nothing happened
avoid the problem
as if it is not there
you can lie all you want
but you're still just as real

you're crying in the dark
how pathetic you've become
once a strong leader
but now the followers are gone
never truley happy
your smile remained
as if to remind you
of all the tears and pain


such things don't make sense
you say no one understands
when he who understood
and you knew all along
is gone now
only a shadow and foot print to sit
it's too late now
you see
he's gone for ever
no setting you free

you see a shape in the distance
but feel no relief
an uneasy laugh
and he's here...
to set you free
©2008-2009 ~princesslisaloo
:iconprincesslisaloo:

Author's Comments

okie, so pretty shitty name...
was gonna put this in...literature, romance, song section (song cause who the hell knows what that other crap means?) but...no...this isn't really romance...i chose human nature, beacause really, this is all human nature; these feelins aren't made up.
umm, silently deadly day?? yeah...pretty sad, i know. this is pretty long and actually took some time but it's one of those things where words just seem to flow out so perfectly.
i realize i changed point of views and what-not making it a little confusing, yeah, i know. i tried changing it at last second but couldn't decided between saying "you" or "i" because either way i'd have to change a lot.
well, i'm pretty happy with this and i think it's probably one of the longest poems i've ever written that wasn't originally intended to be a song...i think...that my poems and songs are becoming way more important than my art because most art i make has some randomly stupid happy anime girl with insane hair that has no meaning, while poems and songs seem to mean more to me because i can really get my feelings down onto it. maybe i'll just not bother getting pics up at all unless they're really amazing, cause i think these are definitely better...

--

please comment and give advice, fav, whatever pleases you. thanks :)

btw
this is sorta based on this amazing book (so hard to explain how this book is making me feel...) called This Lullaby which is where i found some of these lines, guys, read this book. you will never feel the same way again. same with Fruits Basket, ok? agreeed ^^ oh, and thanks to Three Days Grace cause their song i was listening to brought on some of these lines too..

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconprincesslisaloo:
~princesslisaloo Oct 29, 2008, 10:10:01 AM
btw everyone, please tell me what part was your fav!! mine has to be the part that starts "so fake yet so real"
^^ dunka everyone.

--
hey, srry to everyone for my late replies, i quit DA for a long time and i'm getting back into the hang of it now.
:iconcowgirl4:
~Cowgirl4 Oct 31, 2008, 2:15:20 AM
Okay, this was good! Remember what I said about the flow, though with a poem like this, a beat would have fitted it nicely.
And reading it, it seems like you used the word 'you' too many times. A lot of times in poetry, 'you' is a word that can be dropped easily without doing anything to the poem. People will still understand it; you just have to know when to do it.
Hope this helps: And I will read your other poem in a while, but I'm busy at the moment, so I can't do it now. But I WILL DO IT!! *charges forth*

--
"Sie will es und so ist est fien
So war es und so wird es immer sein
Sie will es und so ist est Brauch
Was sie will bekommt sie auch"
- "Rosenrot" by Rammstein

If you want a translation, look it up.
:iconprincesslisaloo:
~princesslisaloo Oct 31, 2008, 12:12:07 PM
haha, thank you soooo much.
yeah, i dun really know how to word it without 'you' i know i use it a lot though...
gawd, you're like the only person who bothers looking at this stuff so thank you a lot.
yeyy ^^ goodie.

--
hey, srry to everyone for my late replies, i quit DA for a long time and i'm getting back into the hang of it now.
:iconcowgirl4:
~Cowgirl4 Oct 31, 2008, 3:57:34 PM
Oh, you're so welcome!

--
"Sie will es und so ist est fien
So war es und so wird es immer sein
Sie will es und so ist est Brauch
Was sie will bekommt sie auch"
- "Rosenrot" by Rammstein

If you want a translation, look it up.
:iconprincesslisaloo:
~princesslisaloo Nov 1, 2008, 12:01:10 PM
tehe :glomp:

--
hey, srry to everyone for my late replies, i quit DA for a long time and i'm getting back into the hang of it now.
Previous PageNext Page

Details

October 29, 2008
1.7 KB
95.8 KB
400×300

Statistics

5
2 [who?]
32 (0 today)
0 (0 today)

Site Map

©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy